I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
When are your genitals available?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
