peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize