oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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