Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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