Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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