I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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