It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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