Betty ford says i'm here all night
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
