I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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