So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i drank out of a bidet.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
