from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
