i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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