did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize