Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
