i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
