Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
only you would photoshop your dick
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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