It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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