i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize