Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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