Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Welp...herpes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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