i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
