I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
