I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
