She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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