Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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