Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
