Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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