But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
