yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
