Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
