Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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