Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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