That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
