I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
