He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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