i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
