if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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