i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
