just come out here and I will go home with you...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
