Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
