Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
