pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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