So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you made out with another girl for some wings
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
