I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
NoShamevember. You game?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
