So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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