i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
