Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
