Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
