Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he shaved USA in his pubs
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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