if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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