Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
