Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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