the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
