Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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