This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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