dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize