we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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