I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
