wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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