Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The uberlube is also flammable
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
