i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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