for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
