Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize